In a deeply personal revelation, Billy Joel has shared the harrowing details of a past suicide attempt that resulted in him being in a coma for several days, offering insights into why he later attempted to take his own life again after awakening from that dark experience. This candid discussion is featured in his new documentary, Billy Joel: And So It Goes, which premiered at the prestigious Tribeca Film Festival in New York just earlier this week.

At the time of the incident, Joel was part of a heavy-metal duo named Attila, alongside drummer Jon Small. The band released their only self-titled album in July of 1970. While living with Small, his wife Elizabeth Weber, and their young son, Joel found himself falling in love with Weber, leading to a complicated affair that would change their lives forever.

In the documentary, Weber reflects on their relationship, stating that she and Joel spent extensive time together, describing it as a “slow build” of emotional connection. Eventually, Joel decided to confess his feelings to Small, understanding the weight of his actions.

“I felt overwhelming guilt about the situation. They had a child together, and I felt like I was a homewrecker,” Joel admitted. “I was genuinely in love with her, and when Jon confronted me, I felt the blow, which I absolutely deserved. Jon was understandably devastated, and so was I.”

The aftermath of this revelation shattered the band Attila, resulted in Joel being thrown out of the house, and spiraled him into a severe alcoholism problem. “With nowhere to go, I found myself sleeping in laundromats, trapped in a deep depression that felt dangerously close to psychosis,” he recounted in the documentary. “At that moment, I thought, ‘I can’t go on living like this anymore.’

After an overdose of sleeping pills, Joel ended up in a coma for what felt like an eternity, as his sister Judy Molinari shared. Upon regaining consciousness and being discharged, Joel attempted to end his life again by consuming a bottle of lemon Pledge, an act that Small prevented by rushing him to the hospital.

“Despite the destruction of our friendship, Jon was my savior,” Joel expressed with gratitude.

Small provided insight into Joel’s emotional turmoil, theorizing, “The only reason I believe Billy struggled so deeply was because he genuinely loved me, and it shattered him to inflict that kind of pain. In time, I found it within myself to forgive him.”

After undergoing treatment at a medical facility for a couple of weeks, Joel experienced a profound realization. “Once I was out of the observation ward, I recognized that I could channel all those intense emotions into my music,” he stated, marking a turning point in his life.

In November 1971, he released his solo debut album, Cold Spring Harbor, which included the track “Tomorrow is Today,” a poignant reflection on his mental health struggles and his suicide attempts. Joel and Weber later rekindled their relationship, ultimately marrying from 1973 until 1982.

The two-part documentary, Billy Joel: And So It Goes, is set to be available on HBO in July, with the exact release date yet to be announced. Recently, Joel made headlines by canceling all upcoming tour dates following a diagnosis of a rare brain disorder.