We’ve truly missed connecting with you.

Over the past few months, we’ve been envisioning innovative ways to reconnect—not only to share the latest fashion news and style inspiration (you know we’ve got that covered), but to create an opportunity for deeper, meaningful discussions that resonate with our community on a daily basis.

Let’s be honest: navigating life as a plus size individual extends beyond mere clothing choices. It encompasses the way we are perceived, how we present ourselves, and the emotional burdens we carry. How much weight are we expected to bear?

This realization sparked the creation of TCF Talks—a monthly live conversation series aimed at fostering a space for the authentic, unfiltered conversations about the realities of living in a plus size body. We recognized that we needed to kick off this series by addressing a topic that has been simmering just beneath the surface for far too long: our mental health. This was also a significant factor in our decision to expand our plus size wellness content on the site!

Did you know?

• Studies indicate that individuals with higher body weights are statistically more likely to suffer from depression, anxiety, and feelings of social isolation—not due to their weight, but as a result of weight stigma and discrimination.
• Particularly, plus size women report experiencing twice the incidence of burnout in the workplace compared to their straight-sized counterparts, largely due to added pressures to “prove” their worth while navigating inherent biases.
• Moreover, the toll of fatigue and stress-related illnesses disproportionately impacts marginalized individuals who are constantly expected to “be resilient” just to navigate daily life.

We couldn’t think of a better way to initiate this journey than by conducting a collective check-in.

Thus, on July 30th, we convened our community, assembled an exceptional panel, and revealed the truth behind the myth of unending resilience.

And let me tell you—what transpired next? The energy in the room was electric.

From discussions about mental exhaustion to emotional labor, and the true essence of what rest really entails in a plus-size body, our panel offered honesty, warmth, and necessary intensity.

If you weren’t able to join us (why not?), here are 10 essential takeaways from our inaugural episode:
“I’m Tired of Being Resilient: Fatigue, Burnout, and the Plus-Size Woman.”

Top 10 Insightful Takeaways from Our Premiere Episode of TCF Talks:

1. Understanding Resilience: A Survival Mechanism Rather Than a Trait.

“We learn resilience because the world doesn’t offer us softness. It’s not strength—it’s survival.”
— Marie Denee

Our moderator and founder @MarieDenee set a powerful tone: Resilience may appear admirable, but for many of us, it’s a skill we were compelled to develop due to a lack of softer alternatives.

2. Recognizing Burnout: It Doesn’t Always Manifest as a Breakdown.

“Sometimes burnout is your body whispering, ‘Please stop’—before it screams.”
— Dr. Rachel Millner

Dr. Millner explained how chronic burnout among marginalized individuals often disguises itself under a facade of “functioning.” If you find yourself showing up yet feeling numb? That’s burnout, too.

3. The Triple Burden: Disabled, Fat, and Femme.

“People don’t want to see disabled fat joy. They want gratitude, apology, or hustle.”
— Carmina Suzanne

Carmina shared powerful insights, passion, and unfiltered truths during the discussion—particularly about how the industry commodifies disability while neglecting the genuine needs that accompany it.

4. Big & Tall Doesn’t Equate to Emotional Invulnerability.

“I can rock a suit on IG, but still feel like I can’t breathe inside it.”
— Nick Darden

Nick introduced a vital male perspective to the conversation—reminding us that plus-size men also endure silent pressures, especially in a society where vulnerability is often deemed unmasculine.

5. Reclaiming Your Energy: Rest as a Form of Resistance.

“Rest isn’t a fix. It’s a fight. It’s saying: I’m not letting the system use me up today.”
— Phaith Montoya

Phaith articulated an essential truth. Rest isn’t limited to a bath bomb and a nap; it’s a political act, a form of empowerment, and necessary.

6. The Power of “No”: A Complete Sentence.

Boundaries emerged as a recurring theme. Whether it’s declining a Zoom meeting, avoiding discussions about dieting, or refusing to minimize yourself (emotionally or physically), “no” can be one of your most effective wellness strategies.

7. Embracing Your Softness: A Strength, Not a Weakness.

Marie summarized it beautifully:

“I want to be seen in my softness, not just my strength.”

Enough of the Strong Black Woman stereotype. Enough of carrying everyone’s emotional burdens. You deserve to embrace your softness without feeling the need to prove anything.

8. Healing Cannot Occur Within the Same Systems That Caused Harm.

We discussed various sectors—healthcare, fashion, workplace culture—and importantly, highlighted the cost of attempting to heal while still feeling unseen or dehumanized.

9. Understanding Real Rest: The Initial Boredom is a Sign of Progress.

This isn’t about performative rest or aesthetic relaxation. It’s about embracing stillness, discomfort, unlearning, and taking the time to be with oneself without the pressure to fix anything.

10. You Are Not Alone, and Your Feelings Are Valid.

Each nod, every “YESS,” every “that resonates with me” in the chat.
That was the essence of community. That was validation.
And that’s the purpose of TCF Talks.

Interested in Joining Us Next Time?

This inaugural episode of TCF Talks served as a powerful reminder of why we embarked on this journey. We launched this series with the goal of reconnecting with you—our community, our people—and to engage in discussions that often lack sufficient representation in fashion or lifestyle media.

We initiated our conversation with mental health because, to be frank, before we can delve into style, success, or visibility, we must first explore how we are truly faring. The reality is, as highlighted by research on weight stigma and mental health, living in a plus size body in a world designed without consideration for us significantly impacts our mental well-being, physical health, and overall vitality.

Based on the feedback from the chat, the DMs, and the whew, yes that’s me! moments during this discussion, it’s evident that you share these sentiments.

This is merely the beginning. We will be hosting these TCF Talks every month—inviting bold voices, fostering authentic conversations, and creating space for us.

Next month’s topic:
“Fake Title Placeholder: Why Plus-Size Fashion Still Can’t Get it Together” (and yes, we might just keep that title because… it’s the truth).

Stay Connected With Us:

• Sign up for our email list so you never miss a live conversation (and can catch replays!)
• Follow us on social media @thecurvyfashionista—we’ll keep the conversation thriving between episodes.
• Bring a friend along next time. These discussions resonate differently when we participate together.

Because we’re not holding back—we’re simply creating a space for dialogue. And there’s always a seat saved just for you.

Looking forward to seeing you at the next event.