She added, “It was very confusing.”

And she cited “pure exhaustion at that point” as the reason for her reaction.

“Where I’m just so frustrated that there’s not this connection that I’m feeling from the pods anymore,” she explained. “And it’s like, why is this not clicking when I’m showing up the same exact way that I was in the pods as I am here and I’m not getting that reciprocated.”

Though the future of her relationship with Joe remains uncertain, Madison is still shocked by how “transformative it was” during her time in the pods.

“The Madison that went into the pods is very different than the Madison sitting here now,” she told E!. “You can’t hide from yourself there, and it brings out so many things in you that you don’t realize are there—and things that you maybe haven’t talked about before. I would say I was truly surprised by how enlightening and transformative it was for me individually.”

Find out Madison and Joe’s relationship status when the next batch of Love Is Blind episodes drop on Wednesday, Oct. 8. In the meantime, for a closer look at the season nine cast, keep reading…