For all the hopeful romantics out there, it’s clear that the men Jill Scott sang about are not the ones featured in these stories! TCF has provided a platform for women to candidly share their plus size dating horror stories with our audience. Let’s delve into these eye-opening experiences and see what these ladies have to say!

As dedicated members of The Fat & Fine community, it’s expected that attention from admirers will come our way. However, we still live in a society that unfortunately equates higher weight with lower self-esteem and self-worth. This misguided notion is not only inaccurate but also harmful. The truth is, our weight does not determine how much love or respect we deserve. Many agree that the flawed belief—that larger women must settle for less—should have been put to rest ages ago.

Despite these pervasive myths, it’s essential to recognize that we deserve authentic love that feels genuine and not forced. There’s a common misconception that plus size women are only looking for whatever is “available.” Because of this, we must be even more discerning about who we choose to date. The transition from first date to final date can be swift and, unfortunately, many of the beautiful souls we’ve heard from have encountered truly distressing experiences that they absolutely did not deserve.

From Brokedown Billy on Bumble to Fetishizing Fred at Food Lion, some men have shown an audacity that is simply unacceptable. Check out these compelling plus size dating horror stories that serve as cautionary tales in your own dating journey!

For privacy reasons, the real names of individuals have been changed.

Real Plus Size Dating Horror Stories from Our Curvy Queens

Catfishing Carla, 28: A Lesson in Online Dating

“Run from the men who’ve wanted you for a long time.” That’s a quote I should have heeded! Reflecting on my past, I was 21 and finally beginning to appreciate my body. I had always been on the fuller side, but this was the first time I truly felt like that girl—with confidence radiating from every pore! Years of wishing for smaller breasts, lighter skin, and straighter teeth had faded as I embraced my curves. Back then, I struggled with the notion of my body and even felt ashamed of my stretch marks and cellulite. However, it was at 18 that I began to recognize the beauty in my fuller physique, and by the time I reached a size 26, I was ready to embrace my identity.

At 21, any attention from men validated me, so when my Facebook inbox was flooded with messages, I was thrilled. I fell for Lorenzo, a guy who seemed genuinely interested in me. He kept insisting he “loved him some BBWs,” which was my first red flag. After much persistence, we arranged to meet. Our online conversations were vibrant, and I was enamored by his older, muscular physique. I thought I had hit the jackpot when he asked me out on a date. He lived a bit far but assured me he was willing to make the drive. I remember the anticipation as I prepared for our date, feeling beautiful in my floral dress and white flats.

However, when Lorenzo arrived, everything changed. As I approached his car, I could see his smile vanish. He bluntly remarked, “You look different in your pictures.” I was taken aback; I had shared a video chat with him and plenty of flattering angles. His audacity was shocking. We went to a Mexican restaurant, and instead of complimenting me, he spent the meal giving me unsolicited weight loss advice, which was incredibly disrespectful. To top it off, he handed me the receipt holder expecting me to cover my meal. I was appalled. That was the last time we spoke, and it was clear we weren’t meant to be. Some people just don’t deserve our time!

Instant Step Mom, 30: A Date Gone Wrong

Rewind to 2012 or 2013 when I was 18 or 19 years old. I met a man named Dee on a chat line. He was in his mid-30s, a truck driver, and the father of three boys. After many conversations filled with excitement and anticipation, Dee finally decided to take me out on a date. I remember the moment vividly; he texted me that he was outside. However, I quickly realized that this was not going to be a typical date. He arrived with his teenage son, Trent, sitting in the front seat—an awkward start that should have been my first warning. Dee didn’t even step out of the car to greet me or open the door. I should have turned back then, but curiosity got the best of me, and I decided to give it a shot.

We went to a local Chinese buffet, a place I love, but it felt lackluster for a date. As we sat down, Dee received a phone call and began chatting loudly, causing everyone to stare. I was mortified! The silence between Trent and me was palpable, and despite my attempts to engage him, he didn’t speak much. Dee’s conversation was solely focused on his phone call, completely disregarding my presence. When the call ended, I felt disheartened as he chastised us for not finishing our food—like we owed him something. To make matters worse, he and Trent left me alone at the pavilion by the lake while they wandered off. I felt like a third wheel, and by the end of that evening, I was more than certain that Dee would never see me again.

The moral of this experience? I hope the next woman he dates doesn’t feel like a babysitter!

Dateless Dia, 25: The Miscommunication That Saved Me

I was around 19 or 20 when I started talking to a guy on Twitter (now X). He had just graduated from college and moved back to our area. He expressed interest in taking me out for drinks, which sounded delightful. As the date approached, I found myself asking the usual questions about where we’d go and what I should wear—just the typical first-date jitters. Everything seemed to be going smoothly until he casually mentioned, “Yeah, I was just gon’ push up on you with a bottle…” A bottle? I was perplexed! He had talked about going out for drinks, not just bringing a bottle to my house.

This blatant miscommunication raised red flags for me. I promptly explained to him how different “going out” was compared to him coming over to drink. I decided to cease all communication with him after that, and in hindsight, I dodged a bullet because later, I discovered he had been accused of serious misconduct. Trusting my instincts that night saved me from a potentially dangerous situation.

Nobody’s Side Chick, 33: The Investigation that Revealed All

I’ll keep this story brief because it still makes my blood boil! At 20 years old, I met a guy on Tagged, and we quickly hit it off via text and phone conversations. After a week, he asked me out, and being the adventurous person I was in my 20s, I eagerly accepted. We decided on a local pool hall, which was a popular spot. Everything seemed perfect, and we connected well, even grabbing a bite to eat afterward.

However, on the way home, he stopped at a convenience store, leaving me in the car. My curiosity got the best of me when I noticed a name tag hanging from the mirror. He had confessed earlier that he was borrowing his sister’s car, so I memorized the name on the tag. When I got home, I went on a little investigation spree and found the woman on Facebook. To my shock, she wasn’t his sister at all—she was his girlfriend! That was the last I ever heard from him, and I blocked him immediately. Looking back, I may have been young and naive, but I was never foolish enough to ignore the signs.

Sugar Baby, 29: The Harsh Reality of Dating Older

From a young age, I’ve always been drawn to older men but had set my personal age limit. At 27, I ventured into dating a 55-year-old man, thinking I had struck gold. He was handsome, fit, and came with a charming demeanor, which initially drew me in. We had crossed paths long ago on social media, and after years of silence, he resurfaced, eager to connect with me. I should have been cautious from the start; he had previously vented about his then-girlfriend, who turned out to be a distant relative.

Despite my better judgment, I decided to meet him at his home for dinner. Watching him cook for me was enchanting, and I felt a connection. However, when we moved to the bedroom, his performance was disappointing, to say the least. He confessed to being on medication for PTSD, which explained a lot. While we continued to see each other, I soon uncovered multiple red flags. He had mental health issues, was in debt, and was involved in some shady dealings. The lesson I learned is that age does not equate to maturity, and appearances can be deceiving.

Although these women have faced some truly challenging experiences in their plus size dating journeys, their stories serve as reminders that there are indeed men out there who will pursue you in the right way. Always stay vigilant and trust your instincts; if something feels off, it probably is!

Do you have your own plus size dating horror stories? Share them in the comments below!