Key Takeaways

• Original Novel: David Pinner wrote the original novel Ritual, which inspired two film adaptations.
• Remake Issues: The 2006 remake of The Wicker Man is often criticized for its poor script and direction.
• Character Changes: The remake alters key character motivations, diminishing the original’s themes of faith and sacrifice.
• Cultural Conflict: The original film explores the clash between Christianity and Paganism, a theme that is less impactful in the remake.

In 1966, a young author named David Pinner had just published a comedic vampire novel called Fanghorn when he began writing a folk horror comedy called Ritual. In 1971 he ended up selling the rights to the novel to former spy, metal singer, and all-around cool guy Christopher Lee. This transaction would lead to one of the best horror movies ever made and the worst horror movies ever made which is really impressive if you think about it. Remakes can be good, bad, or somewhere in between but you also need to measure just how good the original was vs how bad the new one ended up. If the original was just ok, a bad remake isn’t as devastating as a great movie becoming an awful one. The Fog was the number 1 contender for this, until recently when I revisited The Wicker Man from 1973 and decided to watch The Wicker Man from 2006 for the first time. I should have taken the bees. Check your crops and make sure it’s not a trap as we see what went wrong with the Nicolas Cage remake of the Wicker Man.

The Wicker Man has apparently been on the remake docket since the early 90s and what we ended up with was a case of dueling versions looking to get made at the same time. Christopher Lee was going to partner with original director Robin Hardy and Vanessa Redgrave to make a spiritual remake where Lee was the good guy titled The Riding of the Laddie. This wouldn’t end up coming to fruition, but it would be reworked for the spiritual sequel called The Wicker Tree, which, ehhhhh, its fine but definitely not mandatory. Saturn Films, which is Nicolas Cage’s production company, had the rights in 2002 and the distribution passed from Universal to Millennium and eventually Alcon through Warner Bros. Neil LaBute would write and direct the project, and it would film in July of 2005 in Vancouver Canada. The lead role would go to Nicolas Cage who was at a weird time in his career. While he was a decade past his Oscar winning role and his big three action masterpieces of The Rock, Face/Off, and Con Air, he was still at the end of his first prime with stuff like The Weather Man, World Trade Center, and Lord of War.

It’s hard to fully blame him here as even with him being at a high level of Cageyness, the script does him no favors. The script and direction really don’t do ANYONE on the acting side any favors and that includes the likes of Ellen Burstyn, Leelee Sobieski, Molly Parker, and Frances Conroy who are all pretty reliable usually. Burstyn is a 6-time Oscar nominee and when given the right material in a horror movie like The Exorcist or Requiem for a Dream, yeah, I said it, it’s a horror movie, she can absolutely deliver the goods. Cage hadn’t really done any horror up to this point except for maybe 8MM but would show he had it in him later with Mandy and Colour Out of Space. LaBute hasn’t really done many other horror projects but it’s also hard to consider what this turned out to be a horror either. What happened here?

The movie opens with Nic Cage’s character Edward, who is a cop getting in the middle of a terrible accident before jumping ahead slightly to him receiving a letter from his ex-wife that her daughter is missing. He goes to the remote island off the coast of Washington where she is and encounters a whole Neo Pagan civilization where he gets no answers or help from the locals. They are often rude to him or unwilling to help and when he finds out that the missing girl is his daughter Rowan, he searches the whole island for her while uncovering what this island and its people are about. He thinks he leads the girl to safety, but it turns out that he was a patsy the entire time. He is stung by bees and burned alive in a giant Wicker Man as a sacrifice to improve the fortunes of the island. While this sounds like it could potentially be horrifying, it isn’t. At least not in the way I’m sure the movie intended it to be anyway.

To fully understand the folly of the remake, we need to look at the genius of the original in 1973’s The Wicker Man. Christopher Lee was approaching his 50s in the early 1970s and by this point had already had a full career. Hell, he was probably the most well-known Dracula at this point having played the Count so many times. What he wanted though were more interesting roles. Roles with depth. He and Anthony Shaffer along with Robin Hardy had the rights to a novel called Ritual but decided that a direct adaptation would be problematic, so they loosely based it on the property but made many changes of their own. Lee would star as Lord Summerisle and the movie would also feature Edward Woodward as Sergeant Howie, Britt Ekland as Willow, and Ingrid Pitt as the Librarian.

Sgt Howie of West Highlands gets an anonymous letter sent to him to come to Summerisle and investigate the disappearance of a young girl named Rowan Morrison. The island is of Pagan belief and Howie is a deeply Christian man, so the two sides are at odds almost immediately. The town is mostly very kind to the constable, with the daughter of the inn keeper even trying to seduce him but also laugh off what he is working towards and saying he probably shouldn’t be here. Howie learns that the island began to shift towards paganism when Lord Summerisle’s descendants made them believe it was due to those ideas that the crops and island began to prosper. He also finds out that Rowan was the last May Queen and that the crops didn’t prosper. This revelation and the fact that Rowan’s grave is empty lead him to conclude that Rowan is still alive, but the island is going to sacrifice her to appease their gods and get a better crops result.

The Sergeant is a stranger in a strange land but plays along with the festivities until he finds Rowan alive and seemingly about to be sacrificed. He rescues her but the relief is short lived as Rowan actually leads him to Lord Summerisle and the people who are actually going to sacrifice HIM. He is in a position of power, a virgin, and came willingly. His sacrifice will ensure a better year of crops, and nobody feels an ounce of remorse for it. Howie is changed into a gown and cleaned before he is led to a giant Wicker Man where he and a scattering of animals are sacrificed as the sun goes down and the islanders sing a song of triumph. There is no last-minute rescue and there is no salvation.

That uh, that sounds an awful lot like the description of the 06 version yeah? It does because the remake tried very hard to keep the story similar. Nobody needs a shot for shot remake like what happened to Psycho, but you can also make a completely different movie that has the soul of what the original was. It’s not the same thing at all but I think Midsommar is a better remake than Wicker Man 06. It’s easy to see what they tried to do but what went so wrong? Some of it is just feel or style. Nic Cage’s character having a gun and using kung fu moves is so incredibly stupid as are the islanders acting like the bad guys from Resident Evil 4 and coming after him to fight. One choice that is a hard pass for me is making the main character tied to the events on the island. We don’t need that at all. The only reason Howie is tied to the island is because he actually does have jurisdiction over them. Legally. Edward, an on-the-nose callback to the actor who portrayed Howie in the original film, has absolutely no authority over the people of this island in this remake. What’s worse is that Howie gets an anonymous letter in original film while truly knowing no one on this island or even their story whereas Edward is contacted by his ex-wife; even more egregious—the child is his! It’s akin to making Michael Myers Laurie’s brother instead of just having him be an unhinged slasher; we don’t need our protagonist tied into these events.

Some other choices that fall flat are wasting good cast members like Burstyn whose Sister Summerisle amounts to nothing more than mustache-twirling villainy; any power you could have had with gender swap or importance with this island is wasted by underdeveloped ideas or scripting choices made here instead! Lee portrays himself as man-of-the-people who interacts with everyone without putting himself above anyone else; including his understanding at end when desperate Howie screams at him—if crops fail nothing short will appease their gods! Lee changes facial expressions slightly worried because he knows this truth! The music choices don’t work either; remake opts for bombastic or dramatic scores while happier or quieter tones suit original much better! Basically what I’m saying here—it’s worse script; shot worse; scored worse; has worse acting; changes are dumb—but hey besides all that its probably ok right? Well there’s just one more tiny detail—a complete lack between these two religions being at odds!

The ’06 version decided cop character should become much more involved through relationship with one citizen on this island—but what they sacrificed there was character’s relationship with God! There exist couple slightly different versions within remake—but neither include aspect whereas three versions exist within original; theatrical cut; director’s cut; final cut—no matter which you choose (final cut being my favorite) still battle remains between Christianity & Paganism! Howie serves as member crown’s army yes—but also representation Christianity! They don’t believe same things sure—but outright refuse acknowledge anything they believe anything other than crimes against God or each other! His hubris conceals from him very real fact—he has always been target!

This change alters complexion ending entirely! While bees scene remains bad as made out—hilariously bad or not—the impact sacrifice lessened even Edward’s cries “Oh God” don’t resonate much! Howie’s cry “Jesus Christ” terrifies because calling upon believed savior for help—a part already knows won’t be saved! Camera lingers on Howie’s fate uncomfortably long alternating close-ups doomed man & wicker prison! Eventually we stop hearing him—whether flames fumes killed him irrelevant—as sun goes down both day & constable’s life! His death physically horrifying yes—but spiritually nightmare because stern unwavering beliefs—yet used sacrifice something staunchly doesn’t believe!

I hadn’t seen remake all way through until viewing today—I had no interest! Original my brother’s favorite movie—he introduced me into all great horror things love! Gave shot see if really bad reputation & yes absolutely true! Maybe had be though—maybe The Wicker Man ’06 sacrificed so we could have crop good horror remakes down line! What went wrong? Basically everything so please gather followers let us put DVD & Blu-ray copies giant wicker man hope they let classic be—not bees NEVER bees!