The chart-topping, multi-platinum third album Lateralus by Tool is widely regarded as one of the greatest metal albums of the 21st century — however, that did not prevent a Pitchfork celebrity guest interviewer from harshly criticizing it in a recent retrospective review.

Comedian and internet personality the Kid Mero (who gained fame co-hosting the Desus vs. Mero podcast with Desus Nice and later led the Desus & Mero talk show) shared his thoughts on the 2001 album, pulling no punches in his candid assessment as part of Pitchfork’s new Guest Editor series.

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What Did the Kid Mero Say About Tool’s ‘Lateralus’?

“I am going to go right ahead and give that a 1.5 ’cause I hate motherfucking Tool,” Mero stated immediately. “God damn, them motherfuckers suck, boy. Hey, have you ever listened to that shit? Like, for real, for real? If I gave you a porcupine and I was like, ‘Eat this shit alive, try to enjoy it,’ you’d be like, ‘No, there’s no way I can enjoy this, man.'”

“This is Tool, man. Band name says it all,” Mero added. “I hope y’all also gave Tool a 1.”

The comedian felt vindicated to discover that Pitchfork rated Lateralus a 1.9 out of 10 in its original review. (We attempted to find a notable pull quote, but the entire write-up is so filled with convoluted thoughts that we genuinely have no idea what the author was trying to convey.) However, Mero believed that even a 1.9 was too generous.

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“And whoever did that was being nice. They might know Scott Stapp,” Mero remarked. Then: “Oh, no, that’s the guy from Creed. My bad. See? They’re so bad that they are interchangeable in my mind.”

When a staff member informed Mero that Tool’s frontman is Maynard James Keenan, he commented on the singer’s “weird-ass Civil War era name.” Then he delivered the final blow.

“I’m sorry, man,” he said. “If you put your heart and soul into this shit, I apologize, but this shit is ass.”

Other Celebrities Who Hate Tool

Mero is not the first celebrity to express his dislike for Tool. In 2023, comedian and podcaster Marc Maron explained that although he’s friends with some of the band members, he struggles to appreciate their music.

“That shit’s gotta be planted young, dude,” Maron said. “If it wasn’t planted in my weird, angry, adolescent head… That’s where it happens, but I missed all that. So there I was, like in my 40s, kind of listening to Tool.”

Comedian Reggie Watts also criticized the prog-metal giants that year. “As much hype as they get, I just don’t get it,” he told Spin. “And they’re also not very nice. I saw ’em in Big Day Out Tour, and I was trying to get side-stage, and they were giving us all this grief. It was like you could see everybody — all the artists could see other artists from the side of the stage — but they were like, ‘No, only selected people.’ And I’m just like, ‘For this, are you fucking kidding me?'”

Watts continued: “I’m sorry guys, but you aren’t that good that you can have that kind of attitude. Ultimately no one is — although I could imagine it for Prince, like, ‘Whatever you need, Prince.’ Totally fine. But Tool? I’m like, ‘You’re just math rock.’

The comedian also expressed disappointment with Keenan’s voice, arguing, “There’s no presence to it. No presence. Not like Chris Cornell. He’s a fucking rock singer. Or Perry Farrell: his voice. Jesus Christ — that voice is insane.”

Well … WE don’t hate Lateralus! See where we placed it on our list of the 25 best metal albums of the first 25 years of the century (2000-2024):